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First, we lost our fathers. Then we lost even more.

Some of us lost connections with extended family.
Others lost memories of what our fathers looked and sounded like.

We lived for decades in the shadow of the Vietnam War.

The American Side: Portraits

Mike Walling

Mike is a lifetime resident of the state of Arizona. His brother is Jeff Walling (below) and his wife is Dina Walling (right). Mike’s father was Lieutenant Colonel Charles Walling. He was a pilot in the Air Force who was shot down on August 8, 1966, 35 miles northwest of Ho Chi Minh City. Lt. Col. Walling was listed as missing in action until 2011, when his remains were positively identified and he was returned to the United States to be laid to rest at Arlington Cemetery. Mike’s hope for the Vietnam trip was to embrace and enjoy it. “I'm thrilled to go and see the sites and have closure, and to interact with the sons and daughters.”

Debbie Eller
Debbie is the daughter of Air Force Captain Johnny Howard Godfrey. Doug Godfrey is her brother. Captain Godfrey was killed on January 11, 1966, and he remains missing in action. Debbie was 10 years old when her father was shot down, and she went to Vietnam with distinct memories of him. She also traveled with a memento of their relationship: a wish bone from the last Thanksgiving turkey the family shared, just days before Johnny left for Vietnam. He’d promised his little girl that they’d break it when he came back. Debbie preserved that bone over the years, taking it with her on every move around the world. She and Doug finally broke it together at Johnny’s crash site, and cast its pieces into the water.

Barbara Brumet
Barbara’s father, Air Force Captain Robert N. Brumet, was killed on April 9, 1964. The 2018 trip is a return visit to Vietnam for Barbara, and this time she'll be with her sister, Bonnie (right). “My father was considered a military advisor because he was there before the U.S. was officially involved. His casualty happened before the Gulf of Tonkin incident in 1964, and he had a Vietnamese observer with him who also died, as did the family in the home that the bombs hit. I visited my Dad's crash site in 2008 and learned firsthand the extent of the loss. It was very difficult for both sides. I am excited to be with the other trip members and to again visit this beautiful country and its wonderful people.”

Jill Hubbs
Jill is the daughter of Cdr. Donald Richard Hubbs, a Navy pilot. It has been 50 years since his aircraft launched from the USS Yorktown in the Gulf of Tonkin and disappeared off the North Vietnam coast. Jill produced the documentary film They Were Our Fathers, which aired nationally on PBS and showcases the stories of others who lost fathers in the war. Jill was also one of the first to travel to Vietnam, back in 1993. “I was worried how I would be received. Perhaps our Vietnamese hosts were anxious as well. Our countries had fought, but we felt no animosity. What we shared was the tremendous cost of war that impacted generations. I want to return to Vietnam with others – but I really need to, to continue my journey. I want to show respect for my father by laying flowers in the waters of the Gulf of Tonkin, but the most important thing I can do to honor him is to be a bridge to friendship, peace
and understanding between the people of our two countries.”

Susan Mitchell-Mattera
Susan is a Senior Advisor to the 2 Sides Project. Her father, James C. Mitchell Jr., was in the Navy and was killed near Cao Lanh City on January 8, 1970. "My Dad's helicopter was shot down two days after his birthday, and two days before he was scheduled to come home forever. I went on the inaugural 2 Sides Project trip, and want to return to Vietnam to bring
hope and healing to others who travel the same journey. On both sides, we have yet to fully understand this war, but I believe we will be able to work together to show the world forgiveness
comes from meeting the other side with an open mind and heart. I want to be an Ambassador of Hope for future generations to heal from wars. Let peace begin with me and within me.”

Dina Walling
Dina is also a lifetime resident of the state of Arizona and the wife of Mike Walling. She was the first spouse on a 2 Sides Project trip, and she gave everyone the support and encouragement of a close family member. She was “beyond excited” to go to Vietnam. “It's full circle from when I first came into the Walling family. I remember one of the first conversations that we had on the phone when Mike and I were teenagers and started dating. He told me the whole story about his Dad. I was flabbergasted. I'd never had met anyone who lost a parent during the war. It always shook me, and obviously still does.”

Doug Godfrey
Doug was born in Germany and has been a long term resident of the state of Arizona. His sister is Debbie Eller and his father is Air Force Captain Johnny Howard Godfrey. On January 11, 1966, Captain Godfrey crashed on a close air support mission over Soc Trang Province, South Vietnam. He remains unaccounted for. Doug met Jeff Walling at a Sons and Daughters event in Washington D.C., and when the possibility of a trip to Vietnam arose, he asked the Walling brothers and his sister to go. That kickstarted the whole 2024 trip. “I know this trip will enhance my life. The coolest part is doing it with this group.”

Jeff and Lisa Walling
Jeff is Mike Walling’s brother, and Lisa is Jeff’s wife. Jeff’s father was Lieutenant Colonel Charles Walling, an Air Force pilot who was shot down on August 8, 1966. Walling remained missing in action until his remains were positively identified in 2011, and he was returned to the United States to be laid to rest at Arlington Cemetery. Ultimately Jeff and Lisa could not go on the trip, but they watched from afar and FaceTimed with Mike as he visited their father’s
crash site.

Bonnie Dean
Bonnie and Barbara Brumet (left) are sisters; their father, Air Force Captain Robert N. Brumet, was a career officer who was killed on April 9, 1964. “I was never upset withthe Vietnamese. They just wanted their country back from the French. I had an
opportunity to visit Vietnam a few years ago when my sister went, and realized the day the trip left I should have gone. I'm glad I'm getting another opportunity to see the country where so many lives were lost. I have heard it is such a beautiful place. I'm looking forward to meeting the sons and daughters from the other side. Our lives were touched in similar, yet very different ways.”

Nora Kubach
Nora is the writer and editor of The 2 Sides Project documentary, a film she created without setting foot in Vietnam. "In 2016, I had the incredible opportunity to tell the story of The 2 Sides Project on film. It made me believe more than ever in the power of storytelling; when we share our human experiences, we can connect, heal and bring about real change. I never imagined my life would, in any way, be impacted by people or events related to the Vietnam War. But I've come to know and love these Gold Star individuals and their families like my own. I've fallen in love with Vietnam and its people through footage and photographs. Now, I'm excited
to experience Vietnam for myself. I can't wait to meet its people, support new emotional journeys - and live a story of my own."

Ron Reyes
Ron Reyes’s father, PFC Ronald Reyes
(USMC 1st battalion/9th Marines), was killed on March 30, 1968 on a hill overlooking Khe Sanh, during some of the worst fighting of the Tet Offensive. Ron was just a few weeks old at the time. He turned out to be a vital participant on the
first 2 Sides Project trip; as a GPS expert skilled in search and rescue operations, Ron had to argue with government officials at times, but he was able to guide everyone to the exact location of their
father’s site.

Patty Young Lowe, of Valley Grove, West Virginia. The trip to Vietnam was Patty’s
very first time out of the country, and she turned out to be one of the group’s most adventurous travelers. But she also went to Vietnam with questions. Patty’s family never had definitive information about how her father, HM1 Jack Young, had been killed. It wasn’t until she returned from the 2 Sides Project trip that Patty connected with a man in her father’s unit and learned the truth about how her father died.

Margot Carlson Delogne
Margot is the sister of Kim Benner (above) and the founder of the 2 Sides Project. Her father, John W. Carlson (Air Force), was shot down near Bien Hoa on December 7, 1966. "Truth be told, I grew up hating all things Vietnam. I was only focused on what I had lost. But slowly, as I got older, I realized that my father's bombs had probably killed many people, and that there were sons and daughters like me on the other side who had lost their dads too. As my anger subsided, I became curious about those children, now adults. What were they like? How had they tried to
fill that hole left by their father's death? That's when the idea for the 2 Sides Project came to me. I had to meet them. And I thought others would want to join me. Together, we are discovering how coming face to face with the other side changes your thoughts, your beliefs, and your life."

Kim Carlson Benner
Kim’s father, Air Force Captain John W. Carlson, was shot down near Bien Hoa on December 7, 1966. Her sister Margot is the founder of the 2 Sides Project.“I am going to Vietnam because it is time for me to acknowledge that our singular and personal experience and loss was shared by so many others in Vietnam. But I am very scared about what will happen on this trip. What if there is anger on their part? The people who we will meet on this trip have suffered so much loss, and their country continues to suffer. Honestly, I don't care so much about the politics, what got us there, what happened before and what happened after, who made which mistakes. I think it is a waste of time and energy to point fingers and blame the politicians. None of us survivors are
to blame, we are just what gets left behind to figure
it out and move forward and make peace with
each other.”

Mike Burkett
Mike Burkett’s father, Army SP4 Curtis Earl Burkett, was readying for an attack in the Quang Ngai province on February 19, 1971, when he fell into a river and drowned. Mike’s first memory is of his father’s funeral. When he told some of his friends about the trip, they wondered why he wanted to meet “the children of our enemies.

Margaret Von Lienen
Margaret Von Lienen’s father, Navy Commander Robert Saavedra, was shot down over the province of Ha Tinh on April 28, 1968. Margaret’s site was still
under investigation when she took off for Vietnam, and the group wasn’t sure if they’d be able to get to the right location. In the end it was the most challenging location to find. To this day the Navy has not confirmed Margaret’s father’s crash site, but continues to investigate.

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